“I’m perfectly fine representing myself.” Sonny crossed his arms defensively, continuing their conversation as if Rita hadn’t even spoken.

“It’s been ten years since you passed the Bar.”

Sonny wanted to bring up that it had been nearly three times that since Rafael had passed, but he’d told himself this was going to be civil, at least on his end, and a dig at Rafael’s age would drag this into uncivil territory. “So? I’ve kept my license up to date.”

“Wow, paying a fee every two years really keeps your knowledge of the law fresh.” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“You know for a fact that I keep up. I read the journals, I discuss Supreme Court cases with—” He stopped himself, realizing that staying up late, debating the latest issues in front of the Supreme Court with Rafael was no longer something he would be doing. “Anyway, I know enough.”

“How many of those journal articles had to do with divorce proceedings?”

He only made it through half of his pint glass before he was back to his phone.

I miss u.

Another round of shots.

All i want is to kiss u again


Can i come over?

After one last round, the group started to disperse and Sonny made his way to the bar, asking to close out his tab. While he waited, he enjoyed the looseness he felt in his muscles. It was the most relaxed he’d been in weeks. He wasn’t drunk, at least he didn’t think he was. He was definitely feeling the slow burn of the alcohol humming through his veins and was on the verge, but he wasn’t sloppy. It was the perfect place to be. And he didn’t want to waste it by going home.

Closing tab.


Need ur new address.

“We were out drinking at this bar that, no lie, had freakin’ deer heads on the wall. You would have hated it. Anyway, we get in this fight.” He waved a hand when Rafael’s eyes widened. “It was fine. So we kick some ass, and we’re tipsy, and we go back to the motel and we’re standing there at her door and there’s something happening, you know?”

Rafael sighed, running a hand over his forehead where he felt the beginnings of a headache. “Sonny, why are you telling me this?”

The hurt in his voice was almost enough to make Sonny stop, but he couldn’t. He had to get this out. “And we’re leaning in and we both kind of just realize it’s a mistake. Nothing happened, but on my way back to my room all I can think about is how I wished it had been you.” Sonny looked at him, blue eyes full of longing. “I wished it was me and you, tipsy at some backwoods motel in the middle of nowhere, where no one knows us, where I could kiss you and it would just be between us.”

When love ends the only way to understand it is to go back to the start.

Rafael took a breath and looked up into a sea of ocean blue. All he wanted to do was drown in it, but the world was cruel and he had a Jacob and maybe Sonny did too for all he knew. “You’re so…” He lifted a hand, running fingertips under Sonny’s eyes, down his nose, over his lips. “Perfect. And that makes it so hard to be around you, so yes, it would be much easier for me if you weren’t around. Don’t you understand?”